I wonder ......

if picking the right cookie will always be so difficult for you ?

Splish Splash Ana's Eleven !!!

Happy Birthday my crazy beautiful girl !!!!!

Reconnecting......

Last week we traveled down Island for a little work, lots of socializing & some cherished reconnecting with K&A's oldest bio sister Michi.  We so love her & her family and really need to make more effort to spend more time with them :))

Home Leaners Group - Quatse Salmon Stewardship Centre

Yesterday we went on a fun fieldtrip to the Quatse Salmon Stewardship Centre.  I think that this was our largest turn out.....well maybe our June social at Stories Beach may have had a few more dad's in attendance :)  The Stewardship Centre offers several different tours and programs.  We are looking forward to being able to attend several of them in the coming year.  The weather was just perfect !!  After our tour we gathered at the picnic shelter and visited, shared, played and ate.  Soaking up every bit of good energy from the sun and fellow home learning families.

jhgj

Some Exciting News !!!

I got a new job !!!!!

I've been mulling around the question : What's next ? " for some time now.  Just after Christmas I received a voice mail from a friend mentioning that there was a part time position with the AFABC ( Adoptive Families Association of B.C.)  posted.  It caused me to pause...seriously pause and think......the more I thought on it.....the more it seemed like the perfect fit.  So I asked some questions and sent out an email inquiring if the posting had been filled.  It hadn't !!  All I needed to apply was a current resume.....eeekkkk !!  I didn't have a resume.....really thick portfolio Yes !....resume No !  With some help from my Vanessa and a couple other experience friends we condensed 21 years of work experience and training into one page and I sent it off and waited........then was offered the opportunity to interview........then more waiting...........then the call came.......Would I like to work for the AFABC ?  If so, Was I up to starting immediately ?   ABSOLUTELY !!!!!!

So with delight I'm happy to announce that I'm am the new Adoption Support Coordinator for the North Island (Pt. Hardy to south of Campbell River....the boundaries are still being worked out ).  Excited doesn't quite expressed how I feel.  I just knew 2013 was going to be a super positive year.  I didn't know the how's & why's.....I just knew :)  I'm so full of ideas & plans........

The kids are super excited....I'm sure they'll be moments of "transition"......there always are !  Nothing we can't role with and grow stronger from :)  My new position will provide me the great privilege of providing frontline support to families all along they're journey into and through adoption. Some of the many other highlights of my new job is being a contributor to another blog - Vancouver Island Adoption . We, Cathy & I will continue to work closely with the adoption community right here on the Island to provide LOTS of opportunities for families to connect through Support Group Evenings, Family events and Camps.  There's lots more to the position that I'll share along the way, if I can, and as I learn all the ins and outs.  I'm super excited to be in the position to connect with fellow adoptive families way up here on the North North end of the island through gatherings and workshops.  But most of all.......I'm so thrilled to be able to meet so many more families " Like" mine.  Despite all the different configurations of adoptive families we all have that one unique thing in common :))))

Sunday snippets......

Well today is the first Sunday we had completely at home in a while.  Actually, we've been home all weekend with a sickness of some sort :((  I'm on day three of just not feeling well.  I have moments when I think maybe it's past then another wave hits.  I've decided however that 3 days is all this " bug" is going to get !  I've got things I want to do, milestones to work on and people I want to spend time with that don't reside in this home of ours.......

We've been making our way through one of my ex-large pots of chicken vegetable soup over the last couple of days and were in for something a bit more filling this morning.  I woke craving cinnamon !  So Ana & I decided to whip up some of these.....

( Gluten Free cinnamon Waffles with homemade apple sauce and pure maple syrup )

(Ana's become quite confident in the kitchen :)

Over the past couple of weeks Ana, Liam and Keish have gotten back into writing more letters.....there's something so enjoyable about receiving real mail from someone close !

( Liam's reread his letter from Seth several times now......he's working on his reply as I type )

Since our tummies seem to have settle....we're spicing things up a bit for dinner and having pasta with spicy sausage and peppers :)

Despite my restlessness these quiet low key home days are good for us......lots of movie watching, book reading, ipad playing, blog reading & blog post writing.  It's been an unplanned sensory holiday of sorts........tomorrow it's back to seminary and the gym and swim lessons and so on........:))

Filling my bucket.......

Have you heard of the term of " bucket filling" ?  The basic idea is that we all have a bucket that needs to be filled to keep ourselves balanced and in a good emotional place.  Mainly it's thought that we need others to do the " filling".  I do agree with this principle for the most part ......but.....I also believe that good self care is also a huge part of emotional balance.  This of course is a very personal topic.  What's filling for one is not always for another !  For example -  Spending hours in the pouring rain wacking bush and clearing out new garden beds is so meditative to me......but most onlookers think I'm absolutely CRAZY :)

One of the biggest bucket fillers I have is GARDENING.  I've always enjoyed getting my hands dirty.  Food just taste so much better when you've harvested it yourself :)  Since moving to Mc.Neill I've had the opportunity to totally indulge this fondness.  Our yards not that big....but big enough to have 7 good sized raised beds and lots of room for planters.  Last summer was pretty much a right off for gardening though.....between building the retaining wall , spending 6 weeks away and a pretty weird weather kind of summer......things just didn't grow !  This years going to be different.......The last bit of the retaining wall project should be wrapped up be June ( I hope ), we're not planning to be away for any long stretches and if the weathers all crazy again.....I'll be here to support all my we little seedlings through it :)  My Kelly has so wonderfully offered his unused beds up for this years potato crop......he sure knows how to make me happy.......give me some dirt and lets me get to it !!!

 So........new seeds are being purchased, catalogs are slowly arriving, soil is being amended and crop layouts are being finalized in preparation for what I hope to be a very prolific growing season.  What fills your bucket ?

Being real with the ones I love & myself.......

Those that know me well.....know that sharing my things, my time and my love come pretty easy. However,  excepting these things from others does not !  Of course there are many reasons for this.....all have to do with past hurts and wounds.  None that I care to relive or share....that's not the important part.  What's important is that as much as I'm aware of the why & hows and have tried very hard to heal and let the hurts go......old habits are hard to shake....especially in time of stress.....

I spend a great deal of time not dwelling on certain things and subsequently not sharing my worries or concerns......here is one of the biggest currently.....my Keisha is loosing her mobility........the neurologist have ruled out many thing.....but have yet to have any possibilities for what the cause may be.  Over the last 6 years she has been declining.  I first notice it in her speech.....then in her balance & processing.  It seems that it goes.......decline - plateau  - decline - plateau.....she has a pediatrician & two pediatric neurologist and still we are know closer to understanding " why" this is happening.  She's been waiting for over 14 months for her to have MRI's & a spinal tap.  Over that last few months she has lost much of the strength in her right arm and hand.  She looses the feeling in her lower back on a regular basis.  Her right arm is almost always bent with her hand in a claw and turned inward.  She is constantly falling & clipping her body on corners and furniture.  The other week I was watching her sing along with the radio in the review mirror and noticed that the right side of her face wasn't moving.  She continues to decline cognitively also and looses her train of thought regularly......they say that it doesn't appear that she's having seizures.....but sometimes it sure looks like she is to me.  We continue to make adaptions to her environment to make life smoother for her and less dangerous.

Last week I just couldn't be tough any more and I had a bit of an emotional freak out and instead of stuffing it back down or hiding away from the world.....I shared.  I'm always on edge every time she goes to have a shower ( something " she can do on her own" & doesn't want/need her mom to help her with).  I'm terrified that the next fall will cause serious injury !!!  It was ridiculously hard for me to wrap my head and heart around " What was I going to do ? ". I had a plan.....one that was meant to be put into motion years from now........So you see I was STUCK !  Fortunately,  my Kelly knew exactly what I needed to do......make a new plan and get ahead of it....be proactive !  He lovingly nudged me through my emotional hurdles so that I was in the right head space to do just that........get unstuck and to formulate a new plan !  He reminded me that I was not alone in creating a solution that could be put in motion right now.  I may not be able to heal her....but I sure can make our home a safe environment for her to live in and help her maintain the little bit of independence that she still has left !!!!

So first on the list was to demo the two awkward unsafe bathrooms and turn them into one fabulous accessible one with grab bars and that's wheel chair/walker friendly.  With a removable shower head to aid in bathing and soft floors to make the falls less harmful........Once this is done....we'll be updating a larger bedroom and she'll be moving into her very own wheelchair friendly room :)

It's a big project.  One that is going to improve Keisha's day to day life.  In fact it's going to improve all of ours.  I'm so full of gratitude for all the love, support and in this case know how that Kelly and his brothers ( also my friends) Kevin and Jay (who have also jumped on board) are generously giving us.  I wouldn't have been able physically nor financially to do this now if it were not for them.  We are so thankful !!!!!

Beach time.........

Took my canine buddies to the beach today to run and play in the sun.  I was so wishing I had grabbed my camera bag.  The light was so beautiful and they were so happy :)  Then I remembered that I took these ones during the summer and had yet to blog them.  One of the perks of being a coastal small town dog......is the freedom to be off leash at times.  Not in a small chainlink grassed area but free to run through the bush, over the logs, around the tree, crashing in and out of the ocean and then back again and if your super lucky you'll find some yummy fish cast offs to snack on !!  I LOVE watching them :)

Words.........

Such funny things at times.  Sometimes they just coming rolling crashing out of me with perfect flow and inspiration.....others time I can't for the life of me even come close to expressing myself.  I've been quiet here....not because I have nothing note worthy or to share.  I started on this blogging adventure as a bit of a personal challenge at a time that I was struggling to regain my footing.  I wanted to push myself to improve my ability to express myself in written form.......And I wanted to have a way to share with my " people".......to leave an honest account of myself for my children and grandchildren.......I'm so hopeful :)

Well, I've haven't been true to my plan.  I've been keeping a whole lovely part of my life away from here.  Not because of any grand secretive plan or such nonsense.......just because I was enjoying the experience and letting it unfold :)  For most of my life I've just known with confidence that everything happens for a reason......whether we understand it at the time or not.  I think my heart knew I was ready to lets someone new in.  My over protective analytical hyper-vigilant mind on the other hand was just so certain that there wasn't anyone out there in this vast world of ours that could be trusted with my heart again on any deep level. That I should just be content with the great collection of established friendship.  I'm a very odd human.....so says I !  I'm generally very okay with this fact.  I actually celebrate it for the most part.  But, honestly they were those moments when I longed for that special person that just got me...all the many complicated layers of me.  I knew that if it was at all possible that they would have to be a equally " odd" as I.  What was the likely hood of that ?  Then one day after several friendly conversations my heart whispered " I think you can trust him...don't go all crazy....just open up a little and see what happens...."  and so I did that day and everyday since.  Life is so funny !  I was in need of a reminder that really in the grand scheme of things we all need to just let go and let it unfold.  Who'd have thunk that that special person was so close after all.  

Now don't go getting all traditional on me.  Remember the " odd " factor hasn't gone anywhere.  This new wonderful friendship is just as equally unique as the two people in it.  I just wanted to share how genuinely happy I am.  How thankful it all make me feel and to give a little reminder that it's all okay.  If you're open to it you never just know what life has planned for you next.  It's full of all kinds of unexpected surprises !!!

Adoption Camp

We've just returned from yet another adoption camp at Camp Homewood on Quadra Island.  If you've been reading along for awhile you'll know that we attend several times per year......3 to 4 on average.  We just LOVE it and all the amazing families that we attend with.  This time was no exception !!!

A Calgary Christmas

 ( Apple Crisp making with Aunty )

 ( Wrestling " girlie" style )

 

 ( Love )

 ( Rice Krispies pot )

 ( playing cards with Aunty )

 ( Mom and Dad )

 ( Cheryl, Josh, Jared and Isabelle )

 ( My beautiful niece Isabelle ( 17 months )

 ( Almost all the grandbabies........)

 ( These two are the best of friends.......my big boy is so great with his baby cousins )

 ( Papa Tom and some of his " girls" )

( Grandma Heather and her oldest, biggest grandson )

A wonderful Family Christmas :)))