I went into 2011 with a strong sense that this year would bring peace and maybe that last bit of healing we had all been working for. I had no idea how or in what form this would happen I just knew..... Shortly into January we were invited to attend church with dear friends of ours. Oh. Let's back up a bit !
For sometime now the girls had been requesting we attend church. You may remember this post? Anthony however was most certainly not interested ( let's just say I have reason to think this is trauma based). We attended services at a couple of our local churches but nothing fit. Anthony joined us out of respect for his sisters however, he was more than a little uncomfortable. Which left me in a difficult situation. I was raised and baptized as a infant in the Catholic church until I made the choice to stop attending at around 12 or so. I wasn't comfortable with what was going on around me and my father honored my decision. Over the years I attended service at various denominations but never found the right place for myself. As I entered into parenting I kind of just gave up. I tried to live my life in a way that honored my strong belief in a higher power....or so I thought at the time ! For some crazy reason I thought I could raise my children who pretty much see the world as " black & white" in " grey" when it came to religion. Well really let's be honest I was living in " grey" myself. So back to January......Anthony was invited to attend church by his friend " A" the youngest child of my dear friend. He came home really excited to attend and hoped I'd allow him to go. Of course I said yes and off he went the next Sunday. The girls were terribly disappointed that just Anthony was going this time. He arrived home that afternoon just beaming. I asked him if he'd like to continue attending and how he would feel if we attended as a family....he was more than okay with that ! So off we went and haven't looked back.
When I started on this journey it was for my " girls", then it was for my " children" and along the way I realized it was for me too. However, it's more than that ! I realized I have more baggage from my religious upbring than I thought. Baggage is like that it tends to trip you up when you least expect it ! Here's the deal...My Dad did his very best. He was raised Catholic and he passed on what he knew. He could have " forced " me to continue attending but he did not. He had always encouraged my sister & I to look outside of ourselves and to see and honor the ways of others. To be respectful, caring and of " use" to our community and to think for ourselves...sometimes I wonder if he ever regretted it !! Hehe.
On June 5th we as a family were baptized ( Liam received a blessing & will be baptized after he turns 8). It's amazing how making the right choice can feel so freeing and grounding at the same time !!
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