I'm not sure where to start. Let just start be saying that the last several weeks have been long & emotionally draining to say the least! I'm not sure how to fully explain with all the identity editing that would be required.....let's give it a try!
- The "bigs" start to school was slow & caotic. Here we are 5 weeks into school, several conversations & meetings later and they are just now having their IEP's set into motion ! When my Anthony's asking not to go to school you know there's a problem !!
- For sensory reasons school has been becoming increasingly difficult for my Ana. Academically she has no issues, she's exceeding her grade level. She & I were so hopeful that this year would go smoother than last because she was going to have the same teacher, classroom, desk etc.....not so much ! ( this is the part that requires a tonne of editing !!!). Let's just say that I feel all the finger pointing should be directed at someone else !!
- So if Ana's day to day school issues weren't enough.....We then were sent into an emotional tail spin following an abusive verbal meltdown by a veteran teacher who was subbing in her class. Three days of solid raging like we've never been though before. Which resulting into her feeling so worthless that she went for the knife in an attempt to end it herself......
- Not everything is a mess ! Liam is having a GREAT start to grade 1 & full time school. However, there is a underlying sadness. He has announced to several of us that " Last year I was stupid ! Ms. Janveau is such a good teacher now I'm learnin stuff !!" - ( the truth is that he only 6yrs old, has mastered his phonics and is on the verge of reading any day now, He's got a brain like a sponge...animals, dino's, bugs, you should see him build stuff, What 6 year old do you know who understands the importance of rebar ?...he's anything but STUPID !!) More editing of my opinions.......I'm pleased to see that his current teacher Ms. Janveau truly sees my boy & likes him !!!
So where am I in all of this? Well, I'm doing my best to hold us all together. I've been seriously fighting the urge not to just tell everyone off ! My head still hurts from all the crying & being angry ! In the end I know the flaws of the systems in place and know that freaking out won't help any of us. I've been working closely with our mental health team. Having meetings with doctors, therapist, teachers, playing by the rules and being as upfront & honest as always. However, my urge to hide out is ever increasing. My tired emotional self has been eating way to many cookies and the weather has made it easy to not get out and walk.
Since I can't just "fix" my kids or the system and despite all my efforts I can't erase all the trauma...do you think maybe, just maybe people can just follow the law, ethic & procedures that they agreed too when they chose their careers & signed their contracts? Apparently that's too much to ask !!!
I'm seeing some major changes soon......let's just say my loyalty to the public school system is vanishing quickly !!! If I was granted a magic wand I'd form my own little education squad made up of the few excellent professional that have rallied around my precious little clan. I wonder what the unions would think of that? I'd promise to always be respectful & be a good member of the team and if that's not enough I'll feed them REALLY well !!!!
January little things
23 hours ago