Today while making our " Friday Night" dessert I decided to make a second pan for a friend. My friend has had one of those l o n g mommy weeks. Nothing that would be considered an emergency. Just long & exhausting. I handed it to her at school pick up. She smiled & thanked me several times ( which was nice but not my motivation). As I was getting back into my van I was reminded how I find doing these kinds of things for my friends easy, it's almost second nature to me.
I believe that if you want to have strong long lasting relationships you need to invest in them. For me that looks like:
- taking notice of what is important to them, showing care for them and giving & remembering without having to be asked & without strings.
- that may look as simple as cooking for them, sharing veggies from my garden, photographing their children, maybe it's folding a load or 7 of laundry while being there for a friend who needs to vent or maybe it's traveling 3 day straight & rearranging our holiday to be by their side through an family crisis. For me there is not a big difference between these examples.
- trying my best to be a good listener & confidont.
- it's also understanding that relationship need to be fluid, that they need to evolve & grow to be able to last and that not every friendship is meant to last 40 yrs.
- taking the time to notice when dropping off a bowl of soup or a pan of dessert will let your friend take a big Sigh !
- that the " give & take" factor of relationships will most likely never be even at any one given moment, but should even it self out along the way !
I have been told by too many people that I have unreasonable expectation of the people in my life. In reflection those people were also the people in my life that more often than not would fall into the " taker" category. What those people said or more importantly how they said it clung to my soul. Like many things in my life it was turned inside. It made me second guess my natural instincts and what fundamentally feels right to me.
At almost 36yrs I'm tired of people criticizing me for what I consider my strengths. My "expectations" work for me.
I've decided to continue being the friend I want to be......I'm also going to try really hard not to let the neh sayers have so much influence on my soul and keep all my baking for the people who like me the way I am...expectations and all. Hah !!
So take that you Neh Sayer's !!!!!
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