A Special Glimps........

 ( Confidentiality is huge in our home.  There is so much that is not shared publicly out of respect for my little ones privacy.  I have been given special permission to share this glimps with all of you, our online friends & family.) 

( this great pic was taken by my super talented  Vanessa )

This handsome boy is "J".  "J" joined our family when he was 10 days old.  He was such a snuggler.  We all fell really hard for him instantly.  When "J" was 14 months old he moved out....this was not our choice !  At the time of his moving I had just finished being investigated for neglect & abuse.  Which of course I was cleared of.  One of the pains of working with in a system like fostering ( well at least here in Canada) is that there is this thing I like to call the human factor.  Each province has it's set policies/rules, however each region/district/office/worker has room to interpret them their own way. It only takes one worker to decide your "commitment to this child is finished".  To bad that's not how my heart works !!!

Several months ago I received an email from "J's" new mom.  You may remember this post . Thanks to Google Jody was able to search out my contact info.  How great is that !  We have emailed back & forth, chatted on the phone, are following each others blogs and if that not special enough....we've now had the opportunity to play !

Our visit went better than I had expected in some ways & as expected in others.  Jody had warned me that "J" has taken to being shy with new people.  Which is totally normal with all that as gone on in his short life since leaving us.  However, he wasn't shy at all with the kids....to their delight !  Jody & I had also spoken about what she could expect from "Me" in regards to "J".  Everything about my parenting is about what is in the child's best interest.  I reassured her that it was no way my intention to swoop him up in my arm showering him my emotions.  Don't get me wrong I'm full of emotion for this little guy and if he wanted it I would have loved to have a good snuggle.  The reality is that he doesn't remember me.  I'm a stranger to him.  I remember every little detail of the first 14 months of his life.  He does not.  I've been asked by many " Do you think he remembered you?".  The answer to this question is layered.  I do not think he has any conscious memory of us.  If anything he may have some physical memory.  I hope his heart remembers being loved, being adored, being someones priority....

 I feel super fortunate to have been invited back into "J's" life.  I warms my heart that he has been matched with such an amazing mother and family. Jody told me that she " prayed for this wonderful boy".  What she doesn't know is that I was praying for him to be matched with her.  I strong compassionate women who would love him with every fiber of her being.  That he would be surrounded by a strong united open minded family where " loves means everything not blood".